Portagen and Grief

After Gus died, I decided to offer the rest of his Portagen on the Oley Foundation's website. Portagen is really expensive and I hoped that someone else could use it. We were very fortunate to have Gus' Portagen covered by insurance but I know some people have a really hard time getting their insurance companies to cover things like this. So, it was important to me to pass this formula on...besides, it is not my Portagen but God's! I posted the cans about four months ago.

This afternoon I got a phone call from a man in Wisconsin named John. John has requested the four cans of Portagen. Great! And now here we go....that lovely grief monster has reared it's lovely head and I am at this moment bawling like a big ol' baby!! But, that's why "grief work" is hard...it sneaks up on you!! I'll be fine...I'll just lean into the pain and, more importantly, lean into God. He has always comforted me and I know He will continue to do so.

I am thankful that we were able to find a formula that Gus was able to absorb through his short little small bowel! I'm thankful that God provided this formula for us. I'm thankful that it didn't smell like Pregestimil!! And now, I'm thankful that John will be able to use these four canisters of formula....